Filming of The 13th Step is almost complete!

julietroxspin:

Very excited to share this news! The 13th Step film —http://the13thstepfilm.com/—- is nearly complete! Way to go Monica, and everyone on her team, her advisors, the brave & incredible people who’ve participated and agreed to be filmed!! I am super excited and will share this film wherever, to whoever I can.

Originally posted on Stop13stepinaa's Blog:

Group AA reenactment _0110Over the next week or two we will begin to post new short clips of the some of the footage from the upcoming film,  The 13th STEP.

Thanks to all those who helped in the making of this film!  Edwin, Val, Barry, and all those who helped in other ways.

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Problems and like, Whatever… The AA Attitude Problem

Four years ago I found some blogs online reporting criticism about AA.  Inspired by the years of comments I’ve read from these blogs, plus comments I myself have gotten at The Fix, I decided to do a satire about a fictional AA member.

This “blogger” embodies all that is wrong with AA:  Lack of knowledge about current information, research or other recovery methods about addiction and alcoholism.  A strong loyalty to the AA fellowship that results in bullying (angry retorts, name calling, and threats) if someone disagrees or criticizes AA.  And, resistance to any talk of changing, improving, or otherwise making AA better if AA wanted to be.

Links’ sources are mainly from the blogs I’ve followed throughout the years:  NA Daytona, Leaving AA, The Orange Papers, and more.  Without further ado, let me introduce you to my fictional friend:
—–

Hi, my name is Tearesa Alcoholic.

The first three letters of my name are “T-e-a,” because I thought that sounded cute when I was 19 and high on ecstasy, so I got it legally changed.  This is my first blog, so I’ll try to keep it short, just like my leads.

I love, love, love the program and like, it’s perfect the way it is.  “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”  I’m an atheist, but I love the idea of God.  Especially a God that’s like my Dad or my Grandpa, and He watches over my sobriety and keeps me spiritually fit.  But if I drink, it’s totally my fault because I didn’t pray the right way.

I don't have daddy issues, I don't even believe in God.

I don’t have daddy issues, I don’t even believe in God.

I have God-consciousness now, I didn’t have that out there when I drank 12 packs of Bud Light and smoked pot.  I know what God thinks, but I’m not God.  But God will do anything for me, if I ask, even though I’m an atheist, because I “fake it til I make it.”

But I can make direct contact with God and sometimes God speaks to me through other AA members.  It’s like He hi-jacks your brains and takes over what you’re saying just to send me a message.  The other day, God told me to buy a scratch off lottery ticket and I won five dollars!  I knew I should do that because Becka T. at Monday nights said she goes to AA meetings in casinos in Vegas, and sometimes she gambles just to feel a buzz or a high.  (It’s ok, she’s not a gambling addict.)

I always recommend AA to others with drinking problems, if they’re open minded enough to want help from AA.  I don’t think AA is for everyone, if it’s some other meeting I wish them luck.  I don’t really know much about SMART or SOS or anything like that, I mean, they’re not AA so… I don’t want to listen to anti-AA talk about Bill Wilson doing LSD or lies in the Big Book about the wives didn’t write “To Wives,” I mean, I don’t want other people planting doubt in my head about if AA works.  ‘Cause it works for me.

I have a friend, Lulu, she’s stopped going to meetings, to do her homework and finish up school.  I wish she’d just bring her homework to a meeting.  I mean, she used to be able to drink and do homework, but that didn’t work because she was drinking even though she passed her classes.  She dropped out one semester to go to meetings and I told her she shouldn’t go back to school for at least a year, because no big changes in your first year.

Anyway, Lulu’s totally white-knuckling it, and I refuse to go to her graduation because who knows, she might serve alcohol at the celebration at this point, she’s not good AA.

I mean, I know a lot of people who are clean and sober, and don’t go to meetings, and they look happy.  They probably weren’t really alcoholics though.  I heard people say maybe people who stop meetings get real crazy frustrated when they quit meetings because they’re withdrawing from their addiction to meetings.  They should de-program.  Whatever, those people think they know everything.  They hate AA.

Ok, the program isn’t perfect. There’s this meeting where NA members are breaking the rules by smoking in a non-smoking park.  Just don’t smoke there, ok?  There’s no excuse to justify your smoking.

NBC’s Law & Order SVU did an episode on 13th stepping and I was all like, whatever, this is an anti-AA scare tactic.  All I hear about these days are child molesters and rapists and murderers in AA and NA, and I’m like, what’s your proof?  If you get 13th Stepped, it’s because you’re not going to women’s meetings, and you’re not reading the Big Book.

Rape happens anywhere, like at parties, nightclubs and dark alleys.  Not just when people are drinking, but at libraries, movie theaters, and grocery stories.  I mean, you have to protect yourself, stop waiting for others to do that for you, because AA has only one primary purpose, and it’s not protecting everyone from rapes and violence.

Go to a real meeting, and see some real sobriety, people just like me who’ve had a tough time in life, but we don’t go crying and acting like babies with this stupid paranoia that someone in AA might rape us.  Get a life!   If you want to live a happy life of peace and serenity, come to AA, because without it you’ll die the way you lived- selfish and self-centered.

Sorry, but AA doesn’t tell the courts what to do, so if you don’t like court ordered AA meetings tell it to the courts.  I’m too busy doing AA service work, like going to the courts to testify for my sponsees.

th (4)One of my sponsees relapsed, but that’s because she wasn’t working a good program.  It only works if you work it.  And I saw this guy in the courthouse who just failed a drug test, because he was going to SMART or SOS or whatever.  So my sponsor and I just laughed at him, because he didn’t have what we had.

I am so, so happy I was able to talk about AA and sobriety with all of you today, because in here, I’m safe, but out there, I know my disease is doing pushups in the parking lot.

Ciao!

—–
Well, enough of that.  I hope you heard something familiar in the, like, way Tearesa presented the comebacks and subtle/snide comments *some* AA members make.  It is almost as though learning the steps and attending meetings creates this kind of thinking.  I’d love to hear more in your comments below, and please click the links.  See you next time.

Juliet *Roxspin* Abram
(find me on facebook.)

Quick Reference:

Having God-conciousness.   164 & More

God will do anything for me. The Orange Papers

AA Meetings on the Vegas Strip.  (Meeting Makers Make It.) S.I. Meetings

Bill Wilson wrote “To Wives.” aabacktobasics.org

Season 15, Episode 9, Law & Order SVU “Rapists Anonymous.”  Leaving AA

AA man rapes and impregnates 14 year old.  NA Daytona

NA man brutally rapes and kidnaps woman.  NA Daytona

A personal letter from the mother of a daughter murdered by a man in AA. Stop13StepinAA blog

The 13th Step Film. the13thstepfilm.com

AA man admits he rapes woman but ‘didn’t do anything wrong.’ NA Daytona

Raped, beaten, and assaulted by man she met in AA.  NA Daytona

AA member strangles wife after being mandated to AA for domestic violence.  NA Daytona

Woman gets hate mail from AA members that she pressed charges against an AA man’s 9th step where he made amends for raping her.  NA Daytona

“AA must continue to live or most of us will surely die.”- Big Book Appendix 1, The A.A. Tradition p. 563  164 & More

 

Posted in 12 Step abuse, 12 Steps, abuse, addiction, Alcoholics Anonymous, bullies, rape, religion, sex crimes, sobriety | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

I Don’t Need A Meeting

“What’s a pretty thing like you doing working at a hardware store?” Asks a man with a half-smile, half-snarl, his hands stained with motor oil as he hands me a crinkled twenty dollar bill.

I work at a hardware store.  The majority of customers are men.  This week, another creepy, old man with a disheveled beard, brought in a sander to exchange.  He placed it on the counter behind me, at the opposite register.  I had a line at my counter, and felt uncomfortable not being able to see him behind me.

“Can I help you?” I turned around to ask.

He said, “I’m just here to return this… Wow, you look even more beautiful than you did yesterday.”  I told him he can bring the sander over to my register.  “Oh, I’m ok right here.  I like looking at your hair, it’s so pretty.”

The ick factor landed in the pit of my stomach.  I perceived a threat, which for me triggers anxiety and panic.

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Ever hear someone say, “I need meeting.”  Usually, this follows some kind of catastrophe, like a romantic break up.  Saying “I need a meeting,” is the same as saying, “I need a drink.”  Trouble is, I never found 12 Step meetings the proper place to talk openly about perverted men staring at me.  Hell, perverted men frequent 12 Step meetings.

Consider these two realities:  A history of rape is linked to substance abuse.  Now, consider that sex and violent offenders are court ordered to A.A. meetings, and A.A. has refused to create safety rules protecting members from sexual harassment and other crimes.  That is just plain sick, if not illegal.  Plus,  that means I don’t trust A.A.

Some people never learn manners, and this old man might have early dementia for all I know.  I only took it personally because it was directed at me.  It’s not like he said, “Bend over baby,” or something more derogatory.  Calling for backup might make me feel more embarrassed.  I’m sure the guys at work would defend me, but I don’t want a bodyguard.

I want to defend myself. I want to be intimidating and powerful.  I don’t want to be a non-threatening, one hundred and twenty pound, “little thing”.

Making direct eye contact conveys too much interest.  So I didn’t look at him, which shows fear instead.  Later, I tell one of my male managers that this creep put me in a bad mood by staring at me for over ten minutes.  He shrugs, and I shrug.  Unfortunately, this does happen all the time.  People are rude and insensitive, they feel like powerful men by treating women like objects.

Trouble is, as an abuse survivor, I’m triggered by feelings of being overpowered physically, sexually, or emotionally.  This stranger triggered major feelings of powerlessness, and I wanted to react by crying, punching something, or drinking.

Today, I decided to write about it.  I didn’t run to the bottle or to a meeting. I can’t build a wall between me and society, figuratively or literally.  I don’t believe that former alcoholics are more sensitive to minor frustrations than the average person.  The idea that someone in A.A. could have several years sober and needs to escape to a meeting disturbs me.

I don’t walk past a six pack of IPA and foam at the mouth.  The smell of chlorine and freshly mowed grass don’t send me running to a keg.  I get super annoyed when someone else’s spoon repeatedly scrapes the edge of a bowl, but it doesn’t drive me to drink.  I can always stock the kitchen with plastic spoons.

I used to hear people say they “needed a meeting” because the dog next door wouldn’t stop barking.  Why not just knock on the door and politely state your complaint?  If your neighbor is a real jerk, make a police report.  Meetings, or booze, do not solve anything directly.

I’m a strong willed person, a female and a feminist.  I survived sexual trauma in the past, and now general misogyny triggers me.  Author Gabrielle Glaser wrote in “Her Best Kept Secret,” that A.A. may not be the best approach for women and their particular struggles with drinking.  And I agree, I’d be a fool, or a masochist, to go back the patriarchal recovery system of 12 Step meetings.

Not finding help in A.A. was a circumstance I needed to avoid because it triggered me.

I found it helpful reading, “Recover! Stop Thinking Like an Addict,”  by Stanton Peele Ph.D.  with Ilse Thompson. I learned there are circumstances I can avoid, or improve, that lead up to a relapse. As Peele writes, “Did your decision to indulge make you feel as if you were doing something?”

In general, I’ve found both men and women in A.A. could not relate to my triggers, or I was too uncomfortable to speak about them.

For example, I do feel more frustration in the summer.  It gets warm and muggy outside in Ohio, and I can’t just “throw on” shorts or a swimsuit without removing every speck of hair that “shouldn’t” be there.  Men don’t have to worry about a “nip” slip in the swimming pool.  I just want to have a carefree summer, but it’s “illegal” and “inappropriate” for me to remove my shirt.  This might sound idiotic to you, but to me they are real triggers.

So are creepy old men who stare at me.  Must be that oversized work t-shirt and jeans I wear, covered in grease and saw dust, are too sexy to resist?

Today, I can choose how I react. If you’re offended by the hair stubble on my legs, than that is your problem, not mine.   I don’t control other people or their behaviors, including perverts’ behaviors.  I know when behavior crosses the line and how to react sanely.

My non-recovery friends, who aren’t specialists or experts in all topics, will listen to whatever problem I have without judgment.  It calms me down.  When my kids get my jokes, that makes me happy.  When my kids don’t get my jokes, and they still laugh, it also makes me happy.  In fact, I get the most out of life from people who have never been to an A.A. meeting.  Go figure.

I am learning to focus on what I can do to make life better for myself, and my family.   For instance, I’m getting better at making homemade pasta salad with fresh vegetables.  I am obsessed with the flavor of red onions now.  I make my own vinaigrettes with balsamic vinegar, olive oil and fresh minced garlic.

I’m not worried if I have garlic breath.  And I don’t need to go to a meeting.

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_____

“The optimist sees a light at the end of the tunnel,
the realist sees a train entering the tunnel,
the pessimist sees a train speeding at him, hell for leather,and the machinist sees three idiots sitting on the tracks.”- German joke

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The 13th Step Documentary—Visit this link & show some support for people speaking up against sexual predators in A.A.

I just started blogging at The Fix— very excited to be a part of that!

For information on harm reduction, abstinence, and moderation support please CLICK HERE for HAMS.

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Rules for Sex Offenders – Attendance in 12 Step Cult Meetings

julietroxspin:

The more you know… Thank you cougarblogger.com for posting this.

Originally posted on 12 Steps - How It Works. By Cougarblogger:

My other obligations keep me from writing longer articles right now, but nothing keeps me from passing on the truth.  Enjoy!

http://www.doc.wa.gov/community/sexoffenders/rulesincommunity.asp

“Offenders cannot purchase, possess or consume any mind or mood altering substances, including alcohol or drugs that haven’t been prescribed by doctors. They may have to undergo chemical dependency treatment and follow prescribed treatment, which may include Alcoholics Anonymous or other recovery meetings. Offenders are required to submit to urine and/or breathalyzer tests to monitor compliance. They also must submit to DNA and HIV testing.”

That they actually include the cult religion as a possibility is terrifying enough, not to mention illegal.  You are not safe in 12 step meetings on any level whatsoever.

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A personal letter from Jaroslava Mendez

julietroxspin:

Here is one of the more highly publicized stories of the dangers of meeting people in AA- People who can hide behind anonymity, who you know nothing about except that they must be “good, trustworthy, honest” AA members. One murder by a violent court ordered AA member is One murder too much! You’ll hear more about this from me, for sure.

Originally posted on The 13th Step:

karla2

Karla Brada Mendez

My daughter Karla was murdered on September 1st, 2011. My family hasn’t celebrated a Christmas or birthday since. We haven’t even given her a proper burial. During these two years and nine months, my mind hasn’t been anywhere but the case.

The man charged with her murder is Eric Allen Earle. Karla met Eric in AA. She had gone to rehab voluntarily to take control of her substance overuse, and her clinic was transporting her to AA meetings.

Eric originally went to AA on a court order. The judge gave him a choice: one meeting per week or one year in jail for an assault battery and vandalism. Despite having a violent criminal record including assault with a deadly weapon, Eric allegedly continued AA meetings even after Karla’s death.

Karla — a 31-year-old woman at the height of her vulnerability — and Eric — a 40-year-old convict with 20 years experience…

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I Don’t Consider Myself a Misogynist

julietroxspin:

Re-blogging this on both my blogs. I am intrigued by this post. Very amazing post.

Originally posted on Poorly Edited :

I used to identify myself as a maleist. That is, I believed that the rights of men were being whittled away by American women. I believed that we were raising a generation of men to be pussies. We were stamping out natural male instincts in an attempt to keep them subdued. We were telling American men that they should be ashamed of their sex and instincts.

I’m sure Fight Club had something to do with this.

I don’t identify as a maleist anymore. I find myself thinking these thoughts from time to time. I realize that they are misguided. But, they’re still lingering.

I don’t consider myself a misogynist… but….

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You’re So A.A.

Today at work, a guy came in wearing one of those worn leather motorcycle vests. He had a helmet and protective eyewear on, giving the impression he was all about concern for safety. Anyway, his vest was adorned with patches, and he was likely a veteran of some war- maybe Vietnam. Then, I saw his “Friend of Bill W.” patch. That’s A.A. code for “I’m a member, too.”

To stay anonymous, do you make up a story to others who don’t know who you friend Bill W. is? Then again, why do you want to be friends with a known philandering husband who is often credited for inventing the 13th Step: Try to manipulate or force newcomers to sleep with you. Bill W. preached that A.A. keeps people honest while he, himself, experimented with LSD. Sure, you could say LSD was legal back in the 1950s, but so was alcohol, and surely this means Bill W. is a poor example of A.A.’s success. Oh, and he begged for whiskey on his death bed.

Due to the lack of safety in the rooms against predators, 13th Stepping and other crimes has made A.A. a place where you might need more than a helmet or protective eyewear, like maybe a whistle and some pepper spray.

Anyway, when I thought of narcissistic Bill W., this song popped into my head and it seemed to fit. So I thought I’d share it on here, so here you are:

You’re So A.A.

You walked into the meeting like you had just Let Go and Let God
Your Big Book strategically placed below one arm
Your sponsor bought the donuts
You had one eye on the newcomer repeating mottos like a robot
And all the pigeons dreamed that you’d be their sponsor
You’d be their sponsor, and…

You’re so A.A., you probably think the newcomer wants you
You’re so A.A., I’ll bet you think the newcomer wants you
Don’t you? Don’t you?

You joined A.A. several years ago thinking new members are easy
Well the 12 Steps said you should say a prayer
And that you could never leave
But you gave out your phone number and called them incessantly
You had some defects, there were Pink Clouds in my coffee
Pink Clouds in my coffee, and…

You’re so A.A., you probably think the newcomer loves you
You’re so A.A., I’ll bet you think your friends will protect you
Don’t you? Don’t you?

You had stinkin’ thinkin’, there were doubts in my coffee
Doubts in my coffee, and…
Well I hear you went up to Dr. Bob’s house, hoping that you’d “get some”
Then you drove rehab patients up to Central Office
To see if you could 13th Step one
Well you’re where you should be all the time
And when you’re not you’re with
Some Friends of Bill W. or church basement close friend
Reading the 12 and 12, and…

aa-meeting-pic

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Looking for more information to fight back against A.A. protecting 13 Steppers, go here:

http://the13thstepfilm.com/

Stories that high light criminals, such as child molesters & sex offenders, sent to A.A. and those committing sex abuse and other crimes in A.A.: http://nadaytona.org/

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No Excuse for Abuse- even in AA

When AA Hurts” revealed more about my personal life than I have ever shared before, and there a few additional remarks I’d like to add in response to the piece.

People make all kinds of excuses for drinking too much: “Work was hard,” or “My sweater shrunk in the dryer,” or “It’s St. Patrick’s Day,” or “It’s Saturday.”  These are excuses people can easily shut up about.  A person who finally is brave enough to share a traumatic experience, such as abuse or rape, is not making excuses.   They are finally coming to grips with core issues that made them self-medicate with alcohol or drugs.

I had a narcissistic parent, which gave me the perspective to recognize narcissistic patterns in AA.  I could not question my mom’s authority, even when I lied to protect her paranoid, irrational behaviors.  At one point, I did not question AA’s authority when members told me there was no other way but AA.

This example of abuse seems overly simplistic because it is.  Still, when these subtle techniques to control someone else are repeated over a long period of time, it becomes abusive.  Telling people their abuse was an “excuse to drink” trivializes their bravery for coming forward and asking for help. Silencing people who have been abused is as bad as the abuse itself.

At age 15, I didn’t want my teachers to find out I was cutting myself because I didn’t want my parents in trouble for not helping me.  A 15 year old kids shouldn’t spend hours at the library studying depression in the attempt to cure themselves. But I was more concerned about protecting and obeying my mom.  I had to keep her happy.  As Karyl McBride, the author of Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers, explains in her blog: “This causes the child to repress or deny feelings, and to determine that their feelings are not important. It translates into adult life as the child grows up not trusting themselves or their own feelings and thus creates crippling self-doubt.”

I convinced myself that the incidents I mentioned above were no big deal.  No, I wasn’t beaten or sexually molested as a child, but that doesn’t discount the emotional and mental abuse.  I was prompted on several occasions to conjure up memories of my uncle molesting me, but I didn’t want to lie.  It became difficult to trust my own memories.  That is abuse.

At 18 years old, I started to drink regularly, but I wasn’t consciously thinking about my childhood memories.  That’s proof that abuse is not an excuse for drinking too much.  Well into my adulthood, my emotional attachment to my mom made me behave like a child towards her.  She was a power greater than myself.  It wasn’t until an abusive relationship with a man who threatened, beaten, and raped me, that I found myself court ordered to AA as a consequence of being forced to steal for my abuser.

Initially, I was grateful to be given the chance to rehabilitate myself instead of jail. I didn’t refuse their help.

Actually, I believed I might be the worst alcoholic in the world because I became angry with AA.  I was unable to understand how an “honest” program pretended the wives of Alcoholics wrote “To Wives” in the Big Book” when AA co-founder Bill Wilson actually wrote it.  (As retold in Susan Cheever‘s biography: My Name Is Bill: Bill Wilson–His Life and the Creation of Alcoholics Anonymous) .

The cracks in the perfect facade of AA triggered reactions inside me that reminded me of how my mom made me feel.  AA was not sick.  AA was religious, not spiritual.  It’s ok for AA to contradict itself.  AA is never wrong.  Who are you to question AA?  I could not fix AA; I could not fix my mom.  As much as I would like to lie about how great AA was, I couldn’t.

My experience as a survivor of abuse that helped me realize how AA was not helping me.  Members consider all life events before AA to be excuses for people to drink.  Anything wrong about AA is, of course, just another excuse to drink.

Supposedly it is not insulting, or hurtful, when AA people joke around the “13th Step,” or the a playful term members use to describe sexual harassment.  Not only is it ok for their books to be dishonest, but it’s also ok to not care if others make unwanted sexual advances towards you, or stalk you, or rape you.  The AA organization to lack concern for its members.  I don’t feel bad at all about not wanting to be a member.

One of the biggest excuses I’ve heard about rape happening in AA is that rape happens elsewhere, not just at their meetings.  Now, that really is an excuse.   If I was sexually harassed at work, I could report it to upper management.  The employee could get fired.  I don’t have to inundate the police with reports that I was leered at and propositioned, which probably won’t result in arrest anyway.

All anyone wants is accountability from AA when there is a problem in the rooms and a clear outline on how to handle 13th Stepping.  I seriously doubt the loving God who is AA’s ultimate authority would be pleased with AA’s decisions.

I don’t need a group of people or books that remind daily that I am a bad person who deserved bad things to happen to me.   AA does not want me to concentrate on why I drank, just how much I drank.  AA wants me to believe it’s not my fault for having my disease, but at the same time it is my fault and I must repent.  I don’t have any desire to argue and critique AA’s books at meetings because, quite honestly, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to make sense of their books.

As Stanton Peele writes in Recover! Stop Thinking Like an Addict and Reclaim Your Life with The PERFECT PROGRAM (with Ilse Thompson): “As sports psychologists teach people, you will head in the direction that you look toward and fulfill the goals you visualize for yourself.”  All I want is a full and happy life, and in order to do that, I need to speak out and be honest even if AA members don’t like it.

____

For more information on the 13th Step documentary:  http://the13thstepfilm.com/

Are you safe in AA? News about rimes in AA- Court ordered sex offenders- available here:  http://nadaytona.org/

Stanton Peele’s website:  http://www.peele.net/

Find AARMED with Facts on Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/AARMEDwithFacts

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AA’s Male Dominant Culture

“Our Father” was recited at my very first AA meeting. My ears started bleeding. I’d quit going to Catholic church to get away from the male-only God, male-only child (Jesus), and male-only priests. As Mary Daly said, “If God is male, then male is God.” I decided that male dominance goes hand in glove with identifying the Almighty Creator as Male.

… AA’s misogynistic language and culture permit sexual misconduct and sexual crimes to occur. These nearly always go unreported, as though they are almost expected, which is why concern over 13th stepping is rising to the fore, pushed by my friend Monica Richardson. It has to be halted.

For more on this please read my guest column on Stanton Peele’s blog Addiction in Society under “AA’s Male Culture.”

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STOP 13TH STEPPING:

My FB page against abuse:  https://www.facebook.com/AARMEDwithFacts

My guest column on Psychology Today (via Stanton Peele’s blog):  http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/addiction-in-society/201404/when-aa-hurts

Check out the documentary website/blog by one of my friends:
http://the13thstepfilm.com/ 

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When AA Hurts: Guest Column at Psychology Today

When AA Hurts …

If you asked me a year ago if I would share my story, I would likely shrug my shoulders and mumble something like, “who cares?”  AA is a behemoth and my criticisms were not welcomed by former “friends” of mine from the program.  They would rather leave their beloved AA the same than make any improvements that would help more people such as myself.

This blog reveals how AA’s program echoes the pattern of abuse, and instead of helping me heal from abuse, going to meetings only continued the cycle.  Frozen in a vulnerable state, I did not recognize the problem I had with AA for years.   It seemed if I kept myself down then I would always return to AA as a power over me.  “Abusers like easy targets, such as people who are starved for love or attention or who fear being abandoned.  I also used alcohol to tamp down my feelings of shame and disgust from being emotionally, physically, and sexually abused.”

I am truly honored and grateful to Dr. Stanton Peele, author of  Recover!: Stop Thinking Like an Addict and Reclaim Your Life with The PERFECT Program (with co-author Ilse Thompson) for all of the help, support and encouragement.  I’ve waited a long time to share my story and this marks the beginning of my of shutting the door on the past, and making progress into the future.

Please visit the guest column link here: When AA Hurts.

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For more about Dr. Stanton Peele’s work visit: www.peele.net

 

Visit the home of A.A.R.M.E.D. with Facts on Facebook

 

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